I still have friends that prefer talking on the phone to texting. Is it rude to let their call go to voicemail and respond with a text?

—Texting My Patience

It depends on the situation. If you’re in a meeting and you actually can’t talk, then sure, kick your friend over to voicemail and text it out. Or if you know already know that your friend is calling for your address, or something else that would be easier to send in a text, then go ahead and text your reply with the dropped pin, link, or whatever else it is you’re sending.

But if you’re getting an unexpected call from your friend Bridget that you haven’t seen since the night she puked in the back of the cab you were sharing, then answer. She might be calling to apologize. Or asking you to help post bail. Either way, dismissing an unexpected call with a text is poor form.

And please, always answer when your mom calls. You know she’s just going to leave you an incredibly long voicemail if you don’t. And if there’s anything worse than having to actually talk on the phone, it’s having to listen to a voicemail.             

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I just got engaged. Is it OK to send a mass email to my family and friends or post an update about it on Facebook?

—Socially Engaged

Yes. And no.

I know you want to share the good news with absolutely everyone you know, but first you should take the time to tell the people you’re closest to. You probably don’t have to tell your great aunt Barbra in Scarsdale firsthand, but anyone that you speak to on a regular basis should probably get a call.

Ask Alex

Then, instead of telling every single person you know in a big, gushing status update on Facebook, try sending an email to share the good news—it’ll feel a little more personal. Of course, you’ll still probably want all of your exes to know, and Facebook is the place to do it. But instead of going on an all-out engagement announcement blitzkrieg, why not keep it simple and just change your relationship status? Everyone important will already know the news, and everyone else won’t think you’re gloating.

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I met someone through a hookup app recently. We spent the night together, and it was pretty fun. I just found them on Facebook. Is it weird to send a friend request?

—Friends with Benefits

Well, it all comes down to how you want to spend your next night with this person. If you’re looking for a repeat performance of your first encounter, it’s best to leave them unfriended. Fewer things are less sexy than scrolling through someone’s Facebook photos and finding out what they looked like in 2005.

But if you’re thinking more along the lines of an actual date, or just something completely platonic and friendly, I think going the Facebook route is fine. It’ll also be way easier to have future conversations through Facebook rather than OkCupid or Grindr.

If you’re worried that friending will come off stalker-y, you can always send a message through the app or site you met on—just be clear about what you want. Then, after you’ve spent some time together, under assumedly more friendly circumstances, friending them on Facebook won’t feel weird at all.

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Need some tech etiquette advice? Check to see if your question has already been answered, or send Alex an email at [email protected].