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Steps
1
She puts her hand close to yours.
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{“smallUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/8/8d/Tell-if-a-Girl-Wants-to-Hold-Hands-Step-1.jpg/v4-460px-Tell-if-a-Girl-Wants-to-Hold-Hands-Step-1.jpg”,”bigUrl”:”/images/thumb/8/8d/Tell-if-a-Girl-Wants-to-Hold-Hands-Step-1.jpg/v4-728px-Tell-if-a-Girl-Wants-to-Hold-Hands-Step-1.jpg”,”smallWidth”:460,”smallHeight”:345,”bigWidth”:728,”bigHeight”:546,”licensing”:”<div class=”mw-parser-output”><p>u00a9 2023 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not</b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>n</p><p><br />n</p></div>”}Maybe you two are sitting down and she rests her hand near yours. If it’s almost touching (but not quite), that’s a pretty good sign that she wants you to grab her hand.[1]
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Expert Source
Mark Rosenfeld
Dating & Relationship CoachExpert Interview. 11 June 2021.
You can test the waters by gently nudging or touching her hand with yours—if she doesn’t move her hand away, she probably wants you to hold it.[2]
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Research source
- She might also place her hand next to yours if you two are sitting at a table or on a bench.
2
She brushes her hand against yours.
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{“smallUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/d/d0/Tell-if-a-Girl-Wants-to-Hold-Hands-Step-2.jpg/v4-460px-Tell-if-a-Girl-Wants-to-Hold-Hands-Step-2.jpg”,”bigUrl”:”/images/thumb/d/d0/Tell-if-a-Girl-Wants-to-Hold-Hands-Step-2.jpg/v4-728px-Tell-if-a-Girl-Wants-to-Hold-Hands-Step-2.jpg”,”smallWidth”:460,”smallHeight”:345,”bigWidth”:728,”bigHeight”:546,”licensing”:”<div class=”mw-parser-output”><p>u00a9 2023 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not</b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>n</p><p><br />n</p></div>”}If you feel her hand brush yours, she probably wants you to grab it. Maybe you two are walking around and she keeps stepping in closer so she touches your hand. If that’s the case, you can reach out and grasp her hand in yours to see how she feels.[3]
X
Expert Source
Mark Rosenfeld
Dating & Relationship CoachExpert Interview. 11 June 2021.
If she truly wants to hold your hand, then she’ll be happy you made the first move.[4]
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Research source
- If you aren’t quite sure, try brushing your hand against hers. If she doesn’t pull away, she probably wants to hold hands.
3
She touches you on the arm or the shoulder.
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{“smallUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/4/41/Tell-if-a-Girl-Wants-to-Hold-Hands-Step-3.jpg/v4-460px-Tell-if-a-Girl-Wants-to-Hold-Hands-Step-3.jpg”,”bigUrl”:”/images/thumb/4/41/Tell-if-a-Girl-Wants-to-Hold-Hands-Step-3.jpg/v4-728px-Tell-if-a-Girl-Wants-to-Hold-Hands-Step-3.jpg”,”smallWidth”:460,”smallHeight”:345,”bigWidth”:728,”bigHeight”:546,”licensing”:”<div class=”mw-parser-output”><p>u00a9 2023 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not</b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>n</p><p><br />n</p></div>”}Breaking the touch barrier is a very good sign. If you two are chatting and she keeps patting you on the shoulder or touching your arm, it means she’s okay with physical affection. Later on, you can try taking her hand or patting her on the arm to reciprocate the physical touch.[5]
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Research source
- Breaking the touch barrier is also a big sign that she’s flirting with you, so it’s good news all around![6]
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Expert Source
Mark Rosenfeld
Dating & Relationship CoachExpert Interview. 11 June 2021.
- Breaking the touch barrier is also a big sign that she’s flirting with you, so it’s good news all around![6]
4
She holds onto your arm.
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{“smallUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/0/06/Tell-if-a-Girl-Wants-to-Hold-Hands-Step-4.jpg/v4-460px-Tell-if-a-Girl-Wants-to-Hold-Hands-Step-4.jpg”,”bigUrl”:”/images/thumb/0/06/Tell-if-a-Girl-Wants-to-Hold-Hands-Step-4.jpg/v4-728px-Tell-if-a-Girl-Wants-to-Hold-Hands-Step-4.jpg”,”smallWidth”:460,”smallHeight”:345,”bigWidth”:728,”bigHeight”:546,”licensing”:”<div class=”mw-parser-output”><p>u00a9 2023 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not</b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>n</p><p><br />n</p></div>”}A girl might grab your arm to hold onto while you’re walking. Since this is pretty close to holding your hand already, she’s probably okay with grabbing hands in just a bit. If you’d like to hold her hand, simply slide her hand down into yours and grasp it as you keep walking.[7]
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Research source
- This is another way of breaking the touch barrier, but it’s a little more of a bold move.
5
She doesn’t flinch when you brush your hand against hers.
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{“smallUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/1/18/Tell-if-a-Girl-Wants-to-Hold-Hands-Step-5.jpg/v4-460px-Tell-if-a-Girl-Wants-to-Hold-Hands-Step-5.jpg”,”bigUrl”:”/images/thumb/1/18/Tell-if-a-Girl-Wants-to-Hold-Hands-Step-5.jpg/v4-728px-Tell-if-a-Girl-Wants-to-Hold-Hands-Step-5.jpg”,”smallWidth”:460,”smallHeight”:345,”bigWidth”:728,”bigHeight”:546,”licensing”:”<div class=”mw-parser-output”><p>u00a9 2023 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not</b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>n</p><p><br />n</p></div>”}Even if it was an accident, she probably won’t take her hand away. If you two are walking around and you accidentally touch hands, she’ll probably step in even closer. Or, if you two are sitting and chatting and you accidentally rest your hand on hers, she’ll probably smile or even blush.[8]
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Research source
- If she quickly moves her hand away after you touch it, it might mean she’s not ready to hold hands yet, which is fine. Just give her some time.[9]
X
Expert Source
Mark Rosenfeld
Dating & Relationship CoachExpert Interview. 11 June 2021.
- If she quickly moves her hand away after you touch it, it might mean she’s not ready to hold hands yet, which is fine. Just give her some time.[9]
6
She lingers during a high-five.
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{“smallUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/c/c8/Tell-if-a-Girl-Wants-to-Hold-Hands-Step-6.jpg/v4-460px-Tell-if-a-Girl-Wants-to-Hold-Hands-Step-6.jpg”,”bigUrl”:”/images/thumb/c/c8/Tell-if-a-Girl-Wants-to-Hold-Hands-Step-6.jpg/v4-728px-Tell-if-a-Girl-Wants-to-Hold-Hands-Step-6.jpg”,”smallWidth”:460,”smallHeight”:345,”bigWidth”:728,”bigHeight”:546,”licensing”:”<div class=”mw-parser-output”><p>u00a9 2023 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not</b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>n</p><p><br />n</p></div>”}She might be testing the waters to see if you want to hold hands. If you two are celebrating something and you go in for a high-five, she might hang onto your hand for a few more seconds than is necessary. After that, you know that she might want to hold hands at some point.[10]
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Research source
- If she’s really bold, she might even just hang onto your hand after a high-five so you two are holding hands now.
7
She leads you somewhere by the hand.
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{“smallUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/f/fb/Tell-if-a-Girl-Wants-to-Hold-Hands-Step-7.jpg/v4-460px-Tell-if-a-Girl-Wants-to-Hold-Hands-Step-7.jpg”,”bigUrl”:”/images/thumb/f/fb/Tell-if-a-Girl-Wants-to-Hold-Hands-Step-7.jpg/v4-728px-Tell-if-a-Girl-Wants-to-Hold-Hands-Step-7.jpg”,”smallWidth”:460,”smallHeight”:345,”bigWidth”:728,”bigHeight”:546,”licensing”:”<div class=”mw-parser-output”><p>u00a9 2023 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not</b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>n</p><p><br />n</p></div>”}This is an indirect way of holding your hand. If a girl grabs you and pulls you along to show you something really cool, it means she wants to hold hands with you. Whenever you get to your destination, simply keep holding her hand to show her that you like her.[11]
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Research source
- She might say something like, “Whoa, did you see that? Let me show you!” before she grabs your hand.
8
She flirts with you.
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{“smallUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/0/0c/Tell-if-a-Girl-Wants-to-Hold-Hands-Step-8.jpg/v4-460px-Tell-if-a-Girl-Wants-to-Hold-Hands-Step-8.jpg”,”bigUrl”:”/images/thumb/0/0c/Tell-if-a-Girl-Wants-to-Hold-Hands-Step-8.jpg/v4-728px-Tell-if-a-Girl-Wants-to-Hold-Hands-Step-8.jpg”,”smallWidth”:460,”smallHeight”:345,”bigWidth”:728,”bigHeight”:546,”licensing”:”<div class=”mw-parser-output”><p>u00a9 2023 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not</b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>n</p><p><br />n</p></div>”}Flirting is a good sign that she’s okay with holding hands later. When a girl flirts with you, she might give you compliments, laugh a little too hard at your jokes, or make a lot of eye contact with you.[12]
X
Expert Source
Mark Rosenfeld
Dating & Relationship CoachExpert Interview. 11 June 2021.
She’ll probably also lean in close or step in a little further than is usually comfortable for most people.[13]
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Research source
- Flirting isn’t a surefire sign that someone wants to hold hands yet, but it’s definitely a step in the right direction.
9
She smiles at you a lot.
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{“smallUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/2/22/Tell-if-a-Girl-Wants-to-Hold-Hands-Step-9.jpg/v4-460px-Tell-if-a-Girl-Wants-to-Hold-Hands-Step-9.jpg”,”bigUrl”:”/images/thumb/2/22/Tell-if-a-Girl-Wants-to-Hold-Hands-Step-9.jpg/v4-728px-Tell-if-a-Girl-Wants-to-Hold-Hands-Step-9.jpg”,”smallWidth”:460,”smallHeight”:345,”bigWidth”:728,”bigHeight”:546,”licensing”:”<div class=”mw-parser-output”><p>u00a9 2023 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not</b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>n</p><p><br />n</p></div>”}She might make eye contact and hold your gaze, too. When a girl smiles at you, it means she’s having fun hanging out with you. While it’s not a surefire sign that she wants to hold your hand, it’s definitely a sign that she likes you or she’s developing feelings for you.[14]
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Research source
- She might even catch your gaze from across the room or give you a sideways glance and a smile.
10
She talks in a sing-song voice.
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{“smallUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/e/e5/Tell-if-a-Girl-Wants-to-Hold-Hands-Step-10.jpg/v4-460px-Tell-if-a-Girl-Wants-to-Hold-Hands-Step-10.jpg”,”bigUrl”:”/images/thumb/e/e5/Tell-if-a-Girl-Wants-to-Hold-Hands-Step-10.jpg/v4-728px-Tell-if-a-Girl-Wants-to-Hold-Hands-Step-10.jpg”,”smallWidth”:460,”smallHeight”:345,”bigWidth”:728,”bigHeight”:546,”licensing”:”<div class=”mw-parser-output”><p>u00a9 2023 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not</b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>n</p><p><br />n</p></div>”}A wavering voice usually means someone is into you. While she might not even realize she’s doing it, women who are interested in you will often talk in a more sing-song nature. If you notice her voice going up and down during the conversation, she’s probably open to holding hands with you.[15]
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Research source
- The opposite is true for men: if a man is interested in you, his voice will drop down lower.
11
She mirrors your body language.
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{“smallUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/c/c1/Tell-if-a-Girl-Wants-to-Hold-Hands-Step-11.jpg/v4-460px-Tell-if-a-Girl-Wants-to-Hold-Hands-Step-11.jpg”,”bigUrl”:”/images/thumb/c/c1/Tell-if-a-Girl-Wants-to-Hold-Hands-Step-11.jpg/v4-728px-Tell-if-a-Girl-Wants-to-Hold-Hands-Step-11.jpg”,”smallWidth”:460,”smallHeight”:345,”bigWidth”:728,”bigHeight”:546,”licensing”:”<div class=”mw-parser-output”><p>u00a9 2023 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not</b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>n</p><p><br />n</p></div>”}If you lean in, she might lean in, too. If you cross your legs, she’ll probably cross hers, too. People do this unconsciously when they’re interested in someone, because our brains tell us it will make them like us more. If you notice that every move you make is being repeated by her, there’s a good chance she wants to hold your hand later.[16]
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Research source
- She might also mirror your posture or try to walk in time with your steps.
Tips
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If you aren’t sure she wants to hold your hand, you can just ask. Say something like, “Can I hold your hand?”⧼thumbs_response⧽

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