Mention the shows or music you like to see what you have in common. Tell your crush or friend what you’re watching, even if you don’t have it on your screen at that exact moment. Then, ask if they’re familiar with it. If they are, you’ve got something to talk about. If not, you have something new and interesting to share with them!

• “Just started watching the new Dr. Strange movie. Are you a Marvel person?”
• “I can’t stop watching House of the Dragon. Have you seen it?”
• “Listening to the new Carly Rae Jepson on repeat! You’ve gotta listen if you haven’t heard it.”

Show off your pets to share them with a crush and keep the chat going. Send a photo or short video of your dog, cat, lizard, or other animals (bonus points if you’re in the photo looking happy and cute, too). This is a great way to be open and friendly without directly flirting, in case you’re not sure how they feel about you (or vice versa).

• “Just giving Mittens some scritches. Look at how cute she is!”
• “Playing fetch with Roger! He goes nuts for nerf footballs.”
• “It’s bath time for Bella. Look at this spoiled pup 😍”

Bond over homework you both have if you need something to talk about. Use this if your friend or crush is in your class and you’re not sure how to keep the chat going. It gives you both an opportunity to complain or talk about something you have in common, plus you might actually get some good help out of it!

• “I’m staring at my computer wondering why I signed up for AP European history 🤦”
• “I’m trying to find the motivation to read for class tomorrow. Have you done it yet?”
• “Trying to coordinate my group for this comparative politics project. How’s your group managing?”

See if they want to join you last-minute for a low-key activity. Ask if they want to grab a drink, get lunch, or even run some errands with you. Invite them to almost anything you like as long as it’s low-pressure or convenient (for example, asking them to be your plus one to a wedding at the last minute might be too much).

• “Hey! I’m starving and was just about to grab lunch. Wanna come?”
• “I was just about to buy tickets to see Don’t Worry Darling tonight. Want me to get you one?”
• “Gotta run some errands downtown. Wanna come?”

Add a flirty emoji to make a mundane answer seem playful. Do this to show you’re open to some flirting over text and invite someone to make the next move. Try popular flirting emojis like 😉 (winky face), 😘 (blowing a kiss), 😈 (smiling devil), or 🙈 (see no evil). The possibilities are endless!^[2]

Tease your crush by keeping your activities a mystery. Keep things vague and lighthearted to make them want to keep texting you and “crack the code.” Try a winky face emoji or an “lol” to make sure they know you’re being flirty or playing a little hard-to-get—otherwise, it might seem rude.

• “I could be doing a lot of things right now. Why do you want to know? 😉”
• “Maybe something, maybe nothing…who’s to say? Lol”
• “What do you think I’m doing? 3 guesses, go!”

Give your crush a little push to make a move if you know they like you. This is a bold move, so be sure about how they feel about you—maybe they’ve hinted at it before, or a mutual friend gave you the scoop. If all goes well, their next message will be an invitation to your first date.

• “Not much, just waiting for a text from you that says ‘Coffee?’ so I can say ‘I’d love to’ 😉”
• “Thinking about how great it would be if you finally asked me on a date lol”
• “Just wondering how much longer I have to wait before you ask me to dinner!”

Ask them on a date creatively by joking that you’re still figuring out how. If there’s good chemistry between you and you’re ready to make the first move, go for it! Say something about how you’re thinking up a funny, unique text to ask them out with. As an extra joke, mention you’ll let them know once you think of something.

• “Just trying to figure out the best way to ask you out for coffee this weekend 🤔”
• “I’m crafting the perfect text message to ask you to grab dinner with me tomorrow night. I’ll send it once I think of it!”
• “Thinking of the best ways to ask you out. I think I’ll go with this: Want to grab smoothies and go for a walk in the park later?”

Reply with a cute response to let your crush know they’re on your mind. Save this for after you’ve been flirting with each other for a few days or weeks to avoid coming on too strong (it might be a bit much if you just met yesterday). Try adding a specific memory or thought about the person to make it more personal or touching.^[3]

Tell them you miss them if you’ve been apart for a long time. Wait to use this reply until you’ve established your feelings for each other—it might be awkward if they just had a question about an assignment! Follow up with a question about when they’ll be back, or what you want to do once you’re reunited.

• “Just wishing you were here!”
• “Missing you. Are you sure you can’t cut your trip short? 😉”
• “Laying dramatically on the sofa, longing for your presence. I’m treating you to a nice dinner when you’re back!”

Send a suggestive text if you have or want a physical relationship. Always test the waters or ask if your crush or partner is comfortable with these kinds of messages before getting too explicit. If they are, send something cheeky to invite them over or start a sexting session if getting together isn’t practical.

• “Not you, unfortunately. But that could change soon.”
• “Just laying alone in bed, thinking of what we could do if you were here…😈”
• “Just thinking about how hot you are 🤤”

Give a bland answer to keep your activities vague for any reason. Try this when you’re not sure what the person wants or you don’t know them very well—if they want to keep talking, it’ll be up to them to let you know what their point is. A lot of times, “What are you doing?” is just a generic conversation starter.^[4]

Keep things ultra polite and vague for important people like bosses. Answer with a neutral phrase like “Not much” or “Not a whole lot,” then thank them and ask how they are in return. Also try this for people you know, but you’re not sure what your relationship with them is (like if you’re unsure whether they have a crush on you or are mad at you, for example).^[5]

Be real if you’re not living your best life and want to talk about it. Be prepared for a heavier or surprised response since most people expect a neutral or positive reply to “What are you doing?” If you don’t know the person well enough to be open and honest, a generic “Not much!” is more appropriate.

• “Ugh I’m laying in bed with the worst head cold ever today.”
• “I’m running late to work. The bus is so unreliable these days!”
• “Lol I’m bandaging up my finger. Turns out knives are really slippery when you’re washing them!”