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How to : What to Do When Your Girlfriend Is Mad at You (10+ Steps to Take)

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How to : What to Do When Your Girlfriend Is Mad at You (10+ Steps to Take)

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1

Give her space if she asked for it.

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    If she asked for some breathing room, respect her wishes. She might be really mad now, but she probably won’t be a few hours or days from now. If she’s furious, your first impulse might be to put an end to this as quickly as possible by fixing the problem right now. She may not be ready for that, so if she needs a breather, it’s best to give her that.[1]
2

Look at things from her perspective.

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    Swallow your pride and take a step back for a moment. It’s easy to get defensive, annoyed, or downright apathetic if your partner is mad and you think it’s undeserved. However, people rarely get angry for no reason at all, and it won’t help anything if you just “fight back” here. Try to look at things from her point of view and be honest with yourself about your behavior.[2]
3

Give her a sincere apology.

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    Don’t just go through the motions—really make it clear you’re sorry. Make eye contact, acknowledge that you know you did something wrong, and don’t try to offload the blame on to her. If you want to explain why you did what you did, go for it, but don’t try to undermine your mistake. If she has questions, answer them. If she still seems upset, ask her what you could do to make it up to her.[4]
4

Let her vent a bit.

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    If she needs to share how she feels and it’s uncomfortable, take it like a champ. You don’t need to put up with any outward abuse or anything, but if she feels compelled to rant, cry, or lash out at you a bit, let her get it off of her chest. It’s not always the healthiest way to cope with icky feelings, but she may need to express those feelings if she’s going to get over this. Do your best to not take it to heart.[5]
5

Make it up to her.

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    You can either solve the original problem, or do something else for her. If she’s mad that you just keep forgetting to do the dishes, go do the dishes. But if she’s mad over something you can’t really “fix” (i.e. you said something mean that you can’t take back), do something to show her you care. If you aren’t sure what to do here, ask her![6]
6

Demonstrate you’ve changed.

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    Prove you’re on the same page by not repeating your mistake. She’s just going to get mad in the future if you don’t show her you’ve learned something from the conflict. If she was mad you didn’t call her for two days straight, make an effort to call her every night you aren’t together. If she was mad you weren’t helping out around the house, set reminders on your phone to do the dishes, take the trash out, or clean up. You told her you were sorry, so show her you mean it![7]
7

Make her smile.

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    With the serious talk over, do something to make her laugh or blush. You know her best, so if she’s the type of gal who loves a cheesy pickup line, hit her with the corniest one-liner you have. If she loves sincere comments, double-down on the melodrama. Whatever it is that gets her smiling her heart out, do that to remind her that you two have a good thing going.[8]
8

Give her a big old bear hug.

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    Physical contact will go a long way towards moving on. When she seems ready, either just go for it or ask her, “Can I give you a hug?” Wrap your arms around her and just hold her. You can do that little “lift her off of the ground” move too if she’s into that. Hugs are scientifically proven to help people get over conflict, and just feeling your arms around her should make her feel a lot better.[9]
9

Crack a joke if it was a silly fight.

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    Once the conflict is resolved, humor may make it easy to move on. This is only a good idea if the conflict didn’t center on something serious. If you’re barely getting over an issue that really hit a nerve with her, joking about it may make it seem like you’re making light of the situation. But if you’re past it, this is a good way to really deflate tension.[10]
10

Review the conflict together.

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    It’s normal to fight now and then, but if there’s a lesson here, go over it together. Reviewing the event a few days or weeks after it happened can be really helpful if the two of you weren’t “clicking” but there’s some insight to be gained. If the two of you are doing well, ask her if she wants to go over what happened. There may be a productive conversation to be had there.[11]
11

Rebuild her trust in you if things went off the rails.

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    If you really dropped the ball, it may be a while before things go back to normal. While you can’t control how she feels, you can show her that you’re serious about changing. Do your best to not get frustrated that you’re in the dog house, and continue to demonstrate that you’re worthy of her trust by being the best possible partner you can be.[12]

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