Former Major Leaguer Jose Canseco thinks “ancient gravity was much weaker” than it is in modern times—a theory which explains why the dinosaurs were so big and yet still “nimble,” the slugger and steroid aficionado claimed on Twitter.

It’s safe to say Canseco shouldn’t quit his day job. Hey, playing baseball at the age of 48, even if it’s only for the Rio Grande Valley WhiteWings, sounds like a ton of fun. Why give that up?

Canseco, noted for using Twitter to make bizarre pronouncements, hinted on Monday that he was going to unleash something truly remarkable, tweeting this cryptic message(Opens in a new window): “More thoughts on gravity tomorrow.”

While it wasn’t entirely clear what previous “thoughts on gravity” Canseco was choosing to expand upon, the slugger had offered up his opinion a few days earlier on something tangentially related— the recent spectacular meteor explosion over Russia. Which wasn’t a meteor, by Canseco’s lights, but in reality a “long range test deal” of some kind conducted by North Korea, because, “do the math,” as he put it(Opens in a new window).

In short, there really was no way to guess what Canseco was planning to say about gravity and after milking the anticipation of his followers for a day, he finally offered up the following in a series of eight rapid-fire tweets on Tuesday first spotted(Opens in a new window) by the Los Angeles Times:

• Ancient gravity was much weaker …
• You ever wonder why nothing REALLY big exists today in nature[?]
• [E]lephants today eight tons supersaurs two hundred tons a totally different world. why?
• Animal tissue of muscles and ligaments could not support huge dinosaurs even standing up or pump blood up 60 foot necks …
• Gravity had to be weaker to make dinosaurs nimble …
• My theory is the core of the planet shifted when single continent formed to keep us in a balanced spin …
• The land was farther away from the core and had much less gravity so bigness could develop and dominate …
• I may not be 100% right but think about it. How else could 30 foot leather birds fly?

So there you have it—and if anybody knows how “bigness” can “develop and dominate,” it’s Jose Canseco, right? Of course, it must be stated that Canseco’s hypothesis has yet to undergo peer review, so we’ll have to wait for Mike Tyson and John Rocker to scrutinize the 30-foot-leather-birds theory before we have more solid answers.

Meanwhile, Canseco quickly moved on to more important matters.

“Who is going to bonnaroo this year? great lineup just announced mccartney billy idol japandroids,” he tweeted(Opens in a new window) a few hours after throwing the scientific community for a loop.

For more from Damon, follow him on Twitter @dpoeter(Opens in a new window).